Some jokes..

Sum interesting jokes tat i get from net..

1.有个人到河边钓鱼，先穿了个树叶～半天没鱼上钩，他又换了块面包～一样半天没鱼上钩～没办法他只好去换蚯蚓～一样还是半天没鱼上钩～～
他气愤之下掏一张百元大炒扔入水中大骂：
"他妈的，要吃什么！自己去买！"

2.、"我看不清太远的东西，"病人对眼科医生说。 "请跟我来，"医生把病人带到外面，用手指着天上的太阳，问道，"你看那是什么？" "太阳。"病人回答。
"那你还想看多远！"

3.Ever notice how all of women's problems start with MEN?
MENtal illness
MENstrual cramps
MENtal breakdown
MENopause
GUYnecologist AND
..When women have REAL trouble, it's a HISterectomy.

4. How to be Annoying in the Computer Lab
i.)See who's online. Send a total stranger a talk request. Talk to them like you've known them all your lives. Hang up before they get a chance to figure out you're a total stranger.
ii)Point at the screen. Chant in a made-up language while making elaborate hand gestures for a minute or two. Press return or the mouse, then leap back and yell, "COVEEEEERRRRR!" Peek up from under the table, walk back to the computer and say "Oh, good. It worked this time," and calmly start to type again.
iii)Remove your disk from the drive and hide it. Go to the lab monitor and complain that your computer ate your disk. (For special effects, put some glue on or around the disk drive. Claim that the computer is drooling.)
iv)Bring some dry ice and make it look like the computer is smoking.
v)Bring a chainsaw, but don't use it. If anyone asks why you have it, say, "Just in case..." mysteriously.
vi)Make a small ritual sacrifice to the computer before you turn it on.
vii)Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and scream, "Oh my God! They've found me!" and bolt.

5. 有一天，一家失火了，爸爸妈妈都逃出来了，只剩下一个儿子还在里面。妈妈很紧张的在屋外大喊： "儿子.....你在干吗......都失火了还不出来......"
儿子回答："我在穿袜子阿....." 妈妈又说，"都失火了还穿什么袜子...." 过了五分钟，儿子还没出来...... 妈妈又紧张的喊，"儿子，你到底在干什么？快出来~都失火了，还待在里面....." 儿子说，"我在脱袜子阿........"

6.有个人一天碰到上帝，上帝突然大发善心打算给那人一个愿望...... 上帝问，你有什么愿望吗？那个人想了想，听说猫都有9条命，那请您赐给我9条命吧。 上帝说：好，你的愿望实现咯。 一天，那个人闲来无聊，如说去死一死算了，反正有9条命嘛，就躺在铁轨上...... 结果一辆火车开过去.....那人还是死了，这是为什么呢？因为那列火车的车厢有10节。

7.话说数千年以前，无论是公狗还是母狗，他们小便时都是蹲着的，直到唐朝，事情才有了转变…… 唐太宗大家听过吧！他老人家养了一对北京狗，有一次唐太宗上华山祭天，带了这一对去……

祭到一半时，母狗突然内急，于是便跑到一棵树后解决，在祭天时这是非常不敬的行为，因此惹恼了玉帝，

玉帝命令雷公打了一个雷，正好打在树上，树倒了，压死了母狗，公狗看了以后非常害怕…… 从此以后，公狗每次在树下小便时，都会伸出一只脚，用力顶着树，以免树倒下来压到自己 。

8. This old man in his eighty's got up and was putting on his coat.
His wife said, "Where are you going ?"
He said, "I'm going to the doctor."
And she said, "Why? Are you sick?"
"No," he said. "I'm going to get me some of those new Viagra pills."
So his wife got up out of her rocker and was putting on her sweater and he
said, "Where are you going?"
She said, "I'm going to the doctor too."
He said, "Why?"
She said, "If you're going to start using that rusty old thing again, I'm
going to get a tetanus shot."

9. Q. How do men exercise at the beach?
A. By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini